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She then took a deep breath and stood up boldly to face the crowd.
When she looked across the hood, she found herself staring at her husband, who had been standing idly by. " I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, Ill be looking for the remote, but I wont remember that its on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first Ill water the flowers.
Next day, Paddy goes to the hospital and asks after Mick. Paddy couldn't believe it, but there's Mick out the back exercising his now re-attached arm.
The very next day he's back at work in the saw mill.
Next day he calls in to see him and asks the nurse how he is..
The nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising".
The Scotsman was shocked that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
He then phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be more generous than that - last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates ?
On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis.From the Hamilton Spectator Daily News comes this story of a Burlington, Ontario couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have it break down in the parking lot.The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're an a**hole! The 'violator' has a bad driving record with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.
On the stand the officer testifies to Paddy and Mick are two Irishmen working at the local sawmill.
The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead. At the end of the day: the car isnt washed, the bills arent paid, there is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter, the flowers dont have enough water, there is still only one cheque in my cheque book, I cant find the remote, I cant find my glasses, and I dont remember what I did with the car keys.